It’s “hump day”, your sick of work, your bored of studying and you’re hanging out for the weekend. Well at Survivor Oz we believe in taking time out for yourself, so why not take a break to enjoy a new edition to the Survivor Oz Top Ten collection! This week, our brand new Ozlet Clayton Shirley from Austin, Texas makes his Top Ten debut to bring you the Top Ten Funniest Survivor’s! We’ve seen some real characters in the three hundred and ninety-five contestants who have appeared on the show but Clayton takes you through his ten funniest. What do you think of the list? Are some of the selections shocking? Has someone been robbed of a place on the list? Let us know! Leave your thoughts in the comments section below… but don’t be to harsh on Clayton, it’s his first article on the site after all!
10. Dave Ball – Samoa
Sometimes known as “Danger Dave” Ball, Dave was overshadowed like so many of his fellow Samoa contestants due to a certain Russell Hantz, but his quirky sense of humour was still able to shine through in little bits throughout the season. Dave Ball himself is hard to pin down, but when he slides in comments about how “making love” is his sport or how he wants to do “some wrenching,” you can’t help but laugh. Dave Ball’s best line comes at Tribal Council however, when he states that if the vote goes the way he is expecting it, he will be shocked. It’s a rare moment where it’s impossible to tell if Dave Ball knows what he just said was funny, but whether he does or not, it’s still hilarious.
9. James Clement – China, Micronesia & Heroes vs. Villains
James is one of those contestants people might not remember for being particularly funny, but that’s because a lot of what makes James funny is so subtle. He’s not out there making jokes and clowning around, but if you pay attention, James is a comedy gold mine. Really most of what makes James funny are his reactions. Whether it’s Todd’s Final Tribal Council answer to Jean-Robert, (“He shut him up!”), Erik licking Cirie’s fingers, (“Something wrong with that boy, he really has problems, poor thing”), or Peih-Gee’s accusations, (“Every time you bring something up, I will quickly blast you back and make you look quite silly.”), you can always count on James to give a good reaction.
Though she may have been a mere background character at the start of both of her seasons, Corrine Kaplan always managed to become a major presence later in the game, large in part because of her knack for mercilessly roasting fellow contestants behind their backs. In Gabon, Corrine mused whether or not fellow tribe member Dan Kay was a “former fatty”, expressed her desire to stab Susie Smith in the face, and then went to far as to promise Susie her vote for a million dollars on the condition that Susie promise to have her vocal cords removed. Corrine’s onslaught of insults continued in Caramoan, holding a consistent tirade against Phillip Sheppard, including referring to him as “tubby lunchbox” which was so funny it was used as the title of the episode. When it comes to funny female Survivor’s, no one can top the Queen of Mean.
7. Tyson Apostol – Tocantins & Heroes vs. Villains
Some might describe Tyson as unnecessarily mean. Others might argue that Tyson is simply brutally honest. Either way, he’s unquestionably one of the funniest Survivor’s of all time. One of Survivor‘s best one-liner machines, Tyson never missed an opportunity to express either how awesome he is, or how much someone else sucks, (usually Sierra). He continued on by retrieving a water barrel naked, strutting around camp in a loin cloth, and snidely offering his superior services to a flailing opposing tribe during a challenge. The great thing about Tyson’s vanity is that he is so clearly aware of how obnoxious he’s being and that he relishes it, unlike say Russell, who truly believes his own hype.
6. Randy Bailey – Gabon & Heroes vs. Villains
Survivor has seen its share of grumpy old men, but none of them were ever as funny as Randy Bailey. A wedding videographer who hates marriage, Randy is quite possibly Survivor’s biggest misanthrope. A true highlight of Gabon, nothing seemed to delight Randy more than making others suffer, especially in a “kick ’em while they’re down” sort of way. Randy was particularly evil at challenges, overtly savoring Reward food in front of a losing tribe, tricking blindfolded members of the opposite tribe into following his direction, and shouting, “You’re done!” over and over at tiny Paloma as he dragged her helplessly across the ground. Another Survivor who’s keenly self aware, Randy plays up his part for both our enjoyment and his own.
5. Coach Wade – Tocantins, Heroes vs. Villains & South Pacific
On the flipside you have Coach, someone whose hilarity comes from the fact that they are so completely un-self aware. A man seemingly from a different time and era, Coach made grand declarations of honor and integrity, as well as boasting an expansive resume of life experiences such as paddling down the Amazon before being captured by pygmies who beat him and, as Coach put it, “talked about eating my ass”. Coach continued to gain more unintentional laughs in Heroes vs. Villains, most notably in an over the top, primal victory shout in a challenge he didn’t actually win. Coach’s pompous attitude and completely out of touch personality made him the butt of countless jokes in his first two seasons before turning in a more dignified showing in South Pacific. Coach might not have meant to be the laugh riot he was, but we’re thankful he was.
4. Jonny Fairplay – Pearl Islands & Micronesia
How could you make a list of the funniest Survivor’s of all time and not include the great Johnny Fairplay? It was clear something was up when Jon Dalton introduced himself as Jonny Fairplay, owning the name, “…because I play fair”. The self applied moniker, in addition to being cited as a wrestler, was enough to make Fairplay a funny character. Over the course of the season, however, Fairplay blazed a path unlike any Survivor before him, including being the first and only player to show up to Tribal Council drunk. Of course, Fairplay’s finest hour came when he and his “loved one” Dan pulled the biggest scam in Survivor history with a lie about Fairplay’s supposed dead grandmother. The plot alone is hysterical. The execution… flawless.
3. Phillip Sheppard – Redemption Island & Caramoan
Love him or hate him, it is near impossible not get some laughs from the Specialist himself, Phillip Sheppard. A larger than life presence from Day One, Phillip made his mark early in the game when he consistently failed to pronounce fellow contestant Francesca’s name properly and then proceeded to blame it on a case of dry mouth, which he then claimed to be getting treatment for. This was only the start. Phillip went on to strap feathers to his head, (though he wasn’t the first), walk around almost exclusively in pink briefs, claim to experience visions from his dead ancestor Jessem Herring, nickname every member of his alliance, and even forget his own torch when the time finally came for it to get snuffed. For two seasons, Phillip Sheppard’s antics dominated a large portion of screen time, and while it was excessive at times, it was always entertaining.
When Rob Cesternino showed up on the scene in Survivor: Amazon, he was the first true Survivor comedian. A guy that knew he was funny and proud of it, Rob never missed a chance to crack wise during confessionals. Whether he was accusing Roger Sexton of being so old as to only being good at naming Perry Como songs or confiding what a psycho/idiot he found Matthew von Ertfelda to be, Rob was an expert at taking shots at fellow contestants while remaining funny and likable. Though we didn’t get to see much of Rob in All-Stars, deleted scenes reveal Rob hosting a hilarious mock Tribal Council at his beach in which his tribe role-played as various members of the other tribe, while Rob flawlessly played the part of Jeff Probst. Thankfully, Survivor fans are still able to enjoy laughs from Rob Cesternino on the ongoing ‘Rob Has A Podcast’ in which his sharp sense of humour lives on.
Tom Buchanan made his first appearance of Survivor over a decade ago in Survivor: Africa and yet he still remains the funniest contestant of all time. A long time fan favourite, Big Tom left a massive impression on viewers thanks to his often child-like playfulness and full of life personality. Big Tom could potentially be one of the funniest contestants due to his occasionally indecipherable speaking alone. Thankfully, Big Tom had much more to give, from calling Sue Hawk a “hag”, to probably drinking more alcohol than anyone ever on the show, to owning some of the worst dance moves this side of Butch. Finally, who could forget Tom’s hilarious outburst of “He’s a Jew!!! He won’t eat the ham!!!” at the Africa Auction? When it comes to big laughs, Big Tom never failed to deliver.
What do you think of the top 10? Do you agree? Disagree? Is it in the wrong order or are there ones that didn’t make the top 10 that you feel should’ve? Leave a comment below to let us know your thoughts!