It’s mid-week, which can only mean one thing: another Survivor Oz Top Ten is coming your way! This week, Ozlet Lancey Morris brings you ten of the most memorable one-liners spoken on Survivor. In every season, we see just a snippet of what goes on out there on the island; but every now and again, the cameras capture something that is said – whether it be a witty comment, a snide remark, or an angry outburst – that stays with us well after the season is over. So which one-liners will make today’s Top Ten? Do you agree with Lancey’s choices? Join the discussion and leave your comments in the space provided.
Writing an article on the most memorable ‘one-liners’ is tricky, largely due to the fact that every word leaving Jeff Probst’s mouth open is pure gold. To that end, the following list includes only Survivor contestants and only phrases uttered during their time on the show itself (thereby excluding post-filming events such as the Reunion). Also, it took all of my self-control to refrain from including nine Shambo quotes, so you’re welcome. Let’s get started!
10. “F**k you Brad Culpepper!” – Marissa Peterson (Blood vs. Water)
Such a short run on Survivor, yet such a legacy to leave as she went. Four simple words that said so much, that in many ways spoke for a nation. F**k you Brad Culpepper, indeed.
9. “I’ve been bamboozled!” – Richard Hatch (All-Stars)
Richard Hatch used his persuasive and arrogant manner to secure the win in Survivor: Borneo, but his strategy didn’t see much development upon his return to the game. The unashamedly cocky Hatch attempted to manipulate his tribe; however his unsuccessful attempts saw him blindsided in true Hatch style: wide eyed and grinning, he exclaimed, “I’ve been bamboozled!”, and left.
8. “Hell hath no fury like a lion and a gorilla when he thinks he’s been provoked.” – Phillip Sheppard (Redemption Island)
How could any list about memorable phrases not include a Phillip Sheppard quote? This declaration came after Phillip introduced us to his tattoos, with a warning of how dangerous they, (and he), could be. As I write these words, my mind is flooded with all of the bizarre and wonderful things Phillip said during his time on Survivor, (like… I don’t know, the way he pronounced FRANSESQKWA), but I digress. Just beware, The Specialist means business.
7. “My Grandma’s sitting at home watching Jerry Springer right now.” – Jonny Fairplay (Pearl Islands)
The infamous ‘dead grandma’ incident made Jonny Fairplay the villain of his season, and secured him as one of the most villainous characters to date. Fairplay devised a plan whereby his visiting friend would tell him of his grandmother’s passing, manipulating the other contestants into giving him the reward. He revealed to the camera, however, that his grandmother was perfectly healthy. She must be so proud of him.
6. “You can enjoy your last two days, you can quit, or you can jump in that fire; whichever is more convenient for you.” – Colton Cumbie (One World)
It was difficult deciding on which Colton comment was most memorable, considering so much of what he said was difficult to forget. This comment came as Christina realised she was next on Colton’s list, presumably as a way to bully, upset and mock her further. Fortunately for Christina, Colton’s reign quickly crumbled. Unfortunately for Colton, so did his health and chances of ever winning Survivor.
5. “Like, she doesn’t deserve it just cause, you know, she sucks at life.” – Courtney Yates (China)
Oh Courtney. You were so funny and shameless and we loved you – why did you have to take it too far?! This comment landed Courtney in hot water with Probst, though it didn’t seem as bad when Denise admitted to lying about her employment status to receive a large sum of money. Was this a strategic statement? It seems unlikely, but at least she admitted she was “the biggest bitch on the planet” straight after.
4. “I will cut the head off of whoever it is who did this, and whoever it is that poisoned this with their scheming and lying is going down next.” – Lex van den Berghe (Africa)
Lex was always great with speeches, even if he occasionally blamed the wrong person and subsequently voted them out. I love that Lex couldn’t let go of a single vote going his way, no matter how petty it was, because he was so invested in the game.
3. “I can get loud too, what the f**k!?” – Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pearl Islands)
Sandra Diaz-Twine is the Queen, and I for one couldn’t be happier. Her sassy comments and ‘as long as it ain’t me’ attitude make her magnificent to watch, and this fight with Jonny Fairplay is no exception. Fairplay had been manipulating and antagonising fellow contestants until Sandra bit back, and in response he threw a tantrum. All hail the Queen.
2. “It’s just a f*****g stick!” – Eliza Orlins (Micronesia)
Eliza is theatrical and entertaining. Her reactions during Tribal Councils and her wide eyed gasps always make for fantastic dramatic displays. This phrase was said during a moment of frustration when Jason presented her with what he believed to be an Immunity Idol, but which was quite obviously, at least to Eliza, a stick. What makes this moment so enjoyable is the contrast between a confident and casual Jason and an overwhelmed, frantic Eliza. As she predicted, it was just a f*****g stick.
1. “I was violated, humiliated, dehumanised, and totally spent, Jeff!” – Sue Hawke (All-Stars)
This entire speech by Sue Hawke was hard not to memorise. The jury’s still out, (pun intended), on whether this event was as Sue described it or not, but from many viewers’ perspectives it seemed to be blown out of proportion. Her speech was impassioned, emotional, and intense to watch. This was perhaps the only time I can recall Jeff not knowing how to respond to something. I think Kathy summed it up well: “Boy that was discouraging.”
What do you think of the top 10? Do you agree? Disagree? Is it in the wrong order or are there ones that didn’t make the top 10 that you feel should’ve? Leave a comment below to let us know your thoughts!